Friday, January 30, 2009

So Close and Yet So Far

This story was submitted by Penelope:

After a long dry period, I met a really interesting guy. He was smart and mature and nothing like the men I'd been dating, who to me seemed inconsistent and whiny. This guy was sure of himself--he was tall and broad-shouldered, full of good stories and easy with a laugh. I met him in a bar one sultry September night. It turns out he was friends with some of my friends, but he'd spent the previous few years studying and working in London, and so we'd never met.

I was instantly smitten. Good conversationalist? Check. Handsome? Oh yes, check. Good job and a future plan? Yes, that too. He'd even had a long-term relationship with a woman of whom he spoke fondly (but not wistfully), which led me to think he had a pretty high EQ.

We made a point of seeing each other on the next several weekends. He didn't ask me out on a date, but that seemed normal. We'd go out with our groups of friends but made sure to coordinate ending up in the same place. Once together, we'd seize a table away from our larger groups and talk and talk and talk--laughing and drinking and having a great time. The sexual tension grew each time we met, and the attraction was clearly mutual. I spent several of those fall weeks enjoying the high that accompanies that sense of possibility you feel when you think a new relationship is developing. Everything was electric.

One night, after several hours of enjoying each other's company, we decided it was too loud to talk in the bar, and that we should go to my apartment. We walked there, holding hands and crunching fallen leaves. It felt like a storybook first date.Once inside, he kissed me. We kissed for a good long time, and I was really enjoying it--he was in no rush, which I really appreciated. What a nice change to meet someone who would take it slow.

We chatted and giggled and flirted and kissed some more. Taking his time, he moved his hand under my shirt, which gave me shivers. This lasted for a while, and then he moved to my legs. I was delighted--here was someone who would touch me in more than two places! Funnily, though, he became unusually focused on my left knee; stroking it up and down, over and over. After some time, he moved his hand an inch or two up my thigh, almost meeting the hem of my short skirt, but still below it. The stroking became even more intense, and for a while I thought he would gradually move his hand upward, underneath my skirt. That didn't happen. While this leg rub was nice, I found it confusing, since he wasn't following the normal course these interactions usually take. And in truth, as the minutes passed, I was beginning to cool off and get sleepy. I wasn't going to sleep with him on the first opportunity anyway, so I began to think I might start to wrap things up. But strangely, he was stroking the inside of my mid-thigh with vigor. I was beginning to think of some way to nicely redirect him, when he whispered in my ear, "Are you close?" Close to what, I wondered? He knew he was rubbing my mid-thigh, didn't he? "Er...what?" I stammered. Then, he said, uncomfortably "Are you going to have an orgasm soon?". Oh, reader, I couldn't help it--i laughed at him, right then and there! Not a huge laugh, more like a startled chuckle. He really did think he was doing all the right things to bring me to orgasm--either that, or he had a very strange mental map of the female body. I did manage to say something that conveyed that no, I wasn't "close". As you might imagine, things got awkward very quickly. He stopped rubbing my leg, and a few minutes later, he mentioned that he had better head home anyway, because he didn't have his contact lens case with him. He kissed me politely, ever the gentleman, and said goodbye.

I didn't see him again for a couple of months. When I did, we chatted for a couple of awkward minutes: how've you been, very busy with work, ha ha, amazing how busy you can get in this city. It's been years since I've seen him, now, though I wonder about him often. Did anyone ever teach him how to push a girl's buttons--or where the buttons are located? I'd love to know.


lorasolomon said...

Great story Penelope!

Tom Klaus said...

I really just don't know what to say. I laughed out loud when he asked you the big question. Wouldn't you like to know where he learned about sex? Or even how he survived so long without knowing any different? Makes me think there ought to be a foundation to raise money for research to help guys like this. Oh, boy. Thanks, Penelope!